Life Lately

Rain and Growing

The end of things always bring me to reflect and this year's close is no exception. 

Autumn has brought about lots of thanksgiving (in soul and in meals) and winter brings even more awareness of the changes to come in the new year. 

To put you up to date: 

Matt and I have found out the joyous news that we are expecting our first child. It's AWESOME and we could not be more stoked, humbled, and thankful. God's timing is sweet. Our bear cub is due on June 6th. The cooler weather and baby-growing has brought about a slower pace of life for me, recalibrating my goals while enjoying God's rest. 

In addition to this, my husband, Matt, has been working long, hard hours to open up a coffee shop/roastery in Paso Robles, CA--Spearhead Coffee. We are in the final stretch of details, menu making, hiring, etc. and we cannot wait until it's doors are finally open! Coffee has been a passion of ours for many moons (before moving to California, we managed a non-profit cafe together in Kona, Hawaii with hopes to open shops all over the world). In the next month or so we are looking to move to the Paso area and I will start as the shop's baker (another love of my heart). 

In this season of reflection I recognized just that--seasons. 

My year started with passion for wedding photography, and continued with fantastic experiences shooting my own weddings and second shooting for another photographer. As summer ended, my attention and passion was turned toward our (growing) family while business with photography slowed down a bit. Now, Spearhead Coffee is close to opening it's doors and I find my place again beside Matt in the shop and getting ready for the cub. Seasons of trying new things, experience, refocus and changing priorities, and excitement for new things to come again. 

Cyclical and new, all at once. 

I could try to do one thing for my whole life, but then I wouldn't be me. They say we are creatures of habit. Mine, then, is to always be exploring and changing as I find new loves and wisdom along the way. One, Another continues on-- in community and culture and smiles from stranger to stranger. 

From Matt's hand on my belly to baked goods given to new friends. 

Welcome, change. It's good to have you. 

Adventures with Matt: Montaña De Oro Exploring

I love this place more than anywhere else. I don't come here enough, even though it's so close to me. But it keeps those smells of eucalyptus and salt air special, the overcast skies still peace-giving and absence does make the heart grow fonder. I love the discovery here--it finds me every time. The towering trees quiets my spirit like nothing else and I feel the Creator's presence in every growing bit around me. Thankful that places like this exist in a world that feels so lost and heavy at times. 

Adventures with Matt: Morro Bay Kayaking + Agape Love

More from our wonderful Anniversary Adventures earlier this month. We had so much fun kayaking in Morro Bay, a first for me. It was perfectly warm and sunny and the waters were calm. We paddled around otters and seals and birds on our tiny voyage. I highly recommend it if you haven't tried it.  

 For the last week or so I have been really irritable and selfish, feeling inadequate and all around just pretty bratty.  

These characteristics aren't consistent with my everyday personality and I've been racking my brains, 

searching my soul, trying to figure out why it's so difficult for me to love right now. 

I came across this article this morning.

Although Mandy is speaking (beautifully) about romantic relationships, my spirit began 

resounding with something I had recently sort of forgotten about the Christian faith. 

Agape love. 

I have been floating through my faith on what I feel like doing for about a year now, 

trying to walk away from my legalistic tendencies. Lately, I haven't been succeeding 

when trying to fix my attitude. Even my heart's posture in prayer is pretty self-centered. 

But agape love, that's what I needed the reminder of.

Agape love isn't led by feelings, but by choice. It is to be selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional--the highest kind of love. 

Whether I feel like it isn't the point. I made a choice to love Jesus fully, like He loves me, like He loves everyone. 

My mind can't get past that. His patience exceeds past my understanding. Way, way, past. 

So every bit of human ugliness that I can't seem to fix doesn't really matter. 

I have made a decision a long time ago to agape love and His grace covers the rest. 

To choose to love, even when I don't feel like it.

It brings freedom to my soul. His ways are mysterious and gentle is His conviction. 

" Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try my and know my thoughts! 

And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Psalm 139:23-24

Adventures with Matt: Limekiln State Park

Lana Del Rey is playing softly on my computer. My floor is finally vacuumed after weeks of neglect. It's breezy outside and the cloudy light is spilling through my shades, making my little apartment feel still and peaceful.
I fell asleep while editing these photos, which feels pathetic. 

It's been a busy couple of weeks. 

I had the radical, awesome privilege of helping to shoot some weddings last weekend in Pebble Beach, then Squaw Valley.
Such a blast. Another wedding comes up tomorrow in Santa Ynez, and the wedding season is here. 

These are some sweet memories of Matt + I's second anniversary adventure over at Limekiln State Park. 

Incredibly beautiful. Middle Earth wonderland.

Homemade tripod from my wilderness hubby.

We seriously need to learn how to harness the power of banana slug goop. Powerful stickiness at its finest.